Wonderland Weekly: Ketchup Edition (4th)

Okay, so I disappear from time to time…it’s just how I am. I get busy and stuff gets pushed aside, since everything else is mandatory, blog stuff is what gets put off.

So this is just a quick ketchup edition (catch up—I crack myself up) to thank all the wonderful blogs out there for including my posts.

Speaking of ketchup…

When I was a teenager, I remember they came out with different colors of ketchup. Green and purple. I did smoke a lot of pot back then, so I could have just imagined it…I’m too lazy to do a Google search for it.

I never tried of any of these potentially imagined colored ketchups. The green just sounded like it would be gross, though it would probably taste the same as red.

The purple sounded so awesome, I’m a big fan of purple. But I just couldn’t bring myself to try it. I suck with change.

Did you ever try the green or purple ketchup? Was it real?

Blog Carnivals featuring yours truly:

My last post→ What’s in your secret drawer?

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Sharing this post will bring you riches!

(Disclosure: sharing is not guaranteed to bring riches)
Read me: This post is more than likely to contain an affiliate link. Ahhh! What does that mean? Will I grow hair on my nipples or give birth to a platypus? Nope, you sure won’t (at least not from clicking on the link).
It means that if you click on the link and end up buying or signing up for something, they’ll throw a little change my way like a “thanks for promoting my shit” kickback.
The cool thing is that it doesn’t cost anybody more to purchase or signup through these, but it does help to cover my blogging expenses, such as: hosting, domain names and privacy, images, design, giveaways and much more. So feel free to click on them and I’ll ♥ you forever.)

Alice’s Wonderful Giveaway (1st one ever)

What a wonderful way to embrace a Monday…with a giveaway. This is the first one ever on the site, so please excuse any lack of experience.

The prize is a $25.00 Amazon.com e-gift card—meaning I’ll email you the gift code.

I’ve tried to include many options because we all prefer different ways to enter giveaways. None of the options are required and a fair few can be done daily.

PS- If I screwed up somehow, please send me an email so that I can fix it. Thanks all, enjoy the first giveaway. :)

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a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

Sharing this post will bring you riches!

(Disclosure: sharing is not guaranteed to bring riches)
Read me: This post is more than likely to contain an affiliate link. Ahhh! What does that mean? Will I grow hair on my nipples or give birth to a platypus  Nope, you sure won’t (at least not from clicking on the link).
It means that if you click on the link and end up buying or signing up for something, they’ll throw a little change my way like a “thanks for promoting my shit” kickback.
The cool thing is that it doesn’t cost anybody more to purchase or signup through these, but it does help to cover my blogging expenses, such as: hosting, domain names and privacy, images, design, giveaways and much more. So feel free to click on them and I’ll ♥ you forever.)

What’s in your secret drawer?

After numerous years with Boyfriend, I’ve noticed many things. Some odd, some wonderful and some that are absolutely bewildering.

One of the many things I’ve noticed is he doesn’t snoop. I’m not sure if he’s just trying to respect my privacy or if he just doesn’t give a damn. I’m assuming it is the last one.

He has never once, in all the time we’ve been together looked in my secret drawer. No, that’s not a new sexual reference to my vagina. lol If that was the case, I’m not sure we’d still be together. A girl has got to get laid!

I’m talking about my special drawer in my nightstand. I’m sure I’m not the only who keeps intimate items in there. Am I? Oh, you’re so shy…you won’t admit it, will you?

Things Boyfriend would say if he looked in my special drawer:

  1. What the fuck?!
  2. How many of those do you need?
  3. What do you even do with that?
  4. So that’s where all the batteries go.
  5. Oh, I didn’t know you were into that.

 

I kind of want him to look in there, but he just never does. I’m sure we could have all kinds of crazy adventures if he did, but I don’t want to scare him either. He is very…lame proper in his sexual conquests.

I’m like his complete opposite. Always up for a good time, love to try new things and it’s pretty hard to take me by surprise. It’s weird that we’re so different in this regard.

What’s in my special drawer?

Well, I don’t want to freak anybody out too much or give away all my secrets right away. So out of the 18 items in my special drawer, at least 5 of them are below…the rest could be decoys…or are they?

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

 

 #10

So, at least 5 of those are in my secret drawer. Okay, now it’s your turn.

What’s in your secret drawer? What do you wish your partner had in theirs?

 

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Sharing this post will bring you riches!

(Disclosure: sharing is not guaranteed to bring riches)
Read me: This post is more than likely to contain an affiliate link. Ahhh! What does that mean? Will I grow hair on my nipples or give birth to a platypus? Nope, you sure won’t (at least not from clicking on the link).
It means that if you click on the link and end up buying or signing up for something, they’ll throw a little change my way like a “thanks for promoting my shit” kickback.
The cool thing is that it doesn’t cost anybody more to purchase or signup through these, but it does help to cover my blogging expenses, such as: hosting, domain names and privacy, images, design, giveaways and much more. So feel free to click on them and I’ll ♥ you forever.)

Wonderland Weekly: 3rd Edition

Money mistake of the last 2 weeks:

Not working because I was sick as hell
Cost: 4 full days of work, 2 half-ass days & 2 weekend days of fun
Lesson Learned: I need sick pay :( or a sugar daddy

What I said way too much lately: “I don’t feel good”

I’m probably the most annoying sick person ever, thankfully I rarely get sick. But when I do, I camp out on the couch, watch Netflix, fuel up on Nyquil and remind people that I don’t feel good.

That’s it, I don’t even ask people to do shit for me. Still, I’m sure that being told 20 times a day by a sick chick on the couch that she doesn’t feel good is annoying as hell. Oh well, I won’t have to deal with that for another year—I don’t get sick very often.

5 Things I actually remember about the last 2 weeks:

  1. I worked too much before I got sick
  2. Got very sick
  3. Nyquil
  4. Felt like shit
  5. More Nyquil

Blogging Ninjas (linked to my shit):

Twitter Ninjas (shared my shit on twitter):

Blog Carnivals featuring yours truly:

Word of the week:

Socialism: Any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods.

My post this week→ The Empty Wallet Romantic Evening

Sorry about the lack of fun pictures this week, I’ve been swamped try to catch up on everything at work and home. There is a really hot picture near the bottom of my last post though, definitely worth checking out.

How were your last 2 weeks? 

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Sharing this post will bring you riches!

(Disclosure: sharing is not guaranteed to bring riches)
Read me: This post is more than likely to contain an affiliate link. Ahhh! What does that mean? Will I grow hair on my nipples or give birth to a platypus? Nope, you sure won’t (at least not from clicking on the link).
It means that if you click on the link and end up buying or signing up for something, they’ll throw a little change my way like a “thanks for promoting my shit” kickback.
The cool thing is that it doesn’t cost anybody more to purchase or signup through these, but it does help to cover my blogging expenses, such as: hosting, domain names and privacy, images, design, giveaways and much more. So feel free to click on them and I’ll ♥ you forever.)

The Empty Wallet Romantic Evening

Yeah, it’s almost that time of year again…Valentine’s Day. The day of love, or shouldn’t we call it “Chick’s Day?” That’s what it really is, isn’t it?

A day to make chicks feel like they’re the most important thing in your life. Whether it’s flowers, cards, stuffed creatures, chocolates or jewelry…they really cash in.

Honestly, I’ve never met a guy who really gives a flying fuck about Valentine’s Day. It’s usually more of a stressful, stupid holiday that they better not screw up, or they’re not getting laid.

But all those lavish gifts can really be a drain on your wallet, so what are you to do? Get creative boys.

Valentine’s Day Guide 4 Men

#1 Valentine’s Day Card

Make it. Grab a sheet of printer paper, fold it in half so that it resembles a card. Draw something on there (like a big heart) and color it in, write “Happy Valentine’s Day” on the front. Inside, just write about how much she means to you and how your life just wouldn’t be right without her.

See, it’s simple. It takes probably about 20 minutes tops, but she’s going to see that you put some effort into it. This will score you brownie points.

Anybody can grab a random Valentine’s Day card off the shelf and scribble some shit in it.

*My favorite part about Valentine’s Day is the card. I love reading how fucking awesome and irreplaceable I am. What girl wouldn’t?

#2 Romantic Dinner In

There are a couple of benefits to staying in for dinner, by staying in, I mean you’re making dinner. Whether you order in, pop something simple in the oven or really cook something, it doesn’t really matter. Obviously, make sure it’s something she likes or you’re going to look like an asshole.

Don’t forget to light a couple of candles, it’s the easiest way to stake a romantic claim to dinner.

Benefits of Staying In

  • Everybody is going to be out, so you get to avoid the crowds
  • No reservations needed
  • Saves money
  • Privacy and close proximity to the bedroom

#3 Massage

Not all chicks like massages, but overall your odds are pretty good. Grab some Massage Oil or even some of her body lotion will do. Have her relax on the bed and put on some calm, relaxing music to set the mood. You might even want to light a few candles for ambiance. Then just take your time and massage her entire body.

Tips

  • If you opt for lotion, make sure to avoid getting it too close to places you plan to be licking or kissing later on.
  • Don’t start grinding up on her too much near the beginning of the massage. The whole point is to help her relax and feel sexy, not like a dirty whore—save that for later. ;)

#4 The Sex

If you’ve done all the other stuff and this chick is even partially into you, she’s probably going to put out. So what you want to do now, is to blow her fucking mind and make her scream like a banshee.

You’re still going to get some, so settle down. You want to focus on giving her as much sexual pleasure as possible and not just your cock for once. I know, how dare I.

Hopefully by now, you know what she likes (aside from sex) and how she likes it. If not, you’ll just have to wing it. There are books out there to help you if you’re completely clueless or just want that added advantage to your already pimp techniques.

There’s She Comes First, which is really popular. Also, Tim Ferriss has a section with a very interesting technique in the The 4-Hour Body.

If you do go out and buy a book, do it before Valentine’s Day so that you have time to read and understand it.

Most Popular Build-up

  • Slow Romantic Kisses
  • Full on making out
  • Wandering hands
  • Exploring fingers
  • You going down to pussy town

Then of course keep going until you are 100% sure she is having a “real” orgasm—DO NOT CHANGE ANYTHING! Keep everything the same until she’s finished.

Then get her right to the point again, and then you can finally get in there. Bam.

What are you planning for Valentine’s Day?

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Sharing this post will bring you riches!

(Disclosure: sharing is not guaranteed to bring riches)
Read me: This post is more than likely to contain an affiliate link. Ahhh! What does that mean? Will I grow hair on my nipples or give birth to a platypus? Nope, you sure won’t (at least not from clicking on the link).
It means that if you click on the link and end up buying or signing up for something, they’ll throw a little change my way like a “thanks for promoting my shit” kickback.
The cool thing is that it doesn’t cost anybody more to purchase or signup through these, but it does help to cover my blogging expenses, such as: hosting, domain names and privacy, images, design, giveaways and much more. So feel free to click on them and I’ll ♥ you forever.)